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    How to Win Friends and Influence People

    Dale Carnegie

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    I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Personally I am very fond of
    strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer
    worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about
    what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I
    dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to
    have that?”
    Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?
    That is what Lloyd George, Great Britain’s Prime Minister during World War I, did.
    When someone asked him how he managed to stay in power after the other wartime
    leaders - Wilson, Orlando and Clemenceau - had been forgotten, he replied that if his
    staying on top might be attributed to any one thing, it would be to his having learned
    that it was necessary to bait the hook to suit the fish.
    Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested
    in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are
    just like you: we are interested in what we want.
    So the only way cm earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and
    show them how to get it.
    Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for
    example, you don’t want your children to smoke, don’t preach at them, and don’t talk
    about what you want; but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the
    basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.
    This is a good thing to remember regardless of whether you are dealing with children
    or calves or chimpanzees. For example: one day Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son
    tried to get a calf into the barn. But they made the common mistake of thinking only of
    what they wanted: Emerson pushed and his son pulled. But the calf was doing just